One of the things I’ve been thinking about recently has been how I present myself in the photography world. I get a bit of imposter syndrome as I begin to take on an “identity”. When I first made Click Pro, I struggled with putting myself in the “Click Pro Master” category. I wasn’t sure that I truly belonged and I questioned if they had made a mistake in letting me in. The most recent observation has been calling myself a “Fine Artist”. I realize I am attracted to the documentary work on many fine art photographers and in that, am hoping to continue putting myself in that category yet, the few opportunities I’ve had to actually call myself that, I’ve hesitated. I think there is an element of just not understanding what defines the category, and of course, there is a larger element of lacking confidence. Would someone look at my work and think “eh…. not fine art”. Does it really matter, no, but I am sharing my journey as an artist on this platform, so I felt like I should be transparent in that.
I’ve most recently finished Michael A Singer’s Book entitled The Surrender Experiment. As I expected, this book was completely life changing and I am sure it is going to take some time to fully process all that I read. What is most intriguing to me is the way in which he was able to sit through a lot of discomfort and stay a silent observer. He was able to release his personal preferences and trust that whatever came his way was better than what he could imagine. That feels impossible to me because I dislike being uncomfortable, I am extremely attached to my personal preferences, and that is a level of trust I have not yet mastered. But it intrigues me and I am motivated to continue on this path. I was also attracted to his commitment to silence and solitude. I, myself, have been feeling called to quiet the noise, to be quiet myself, and to focus more on daily tasks. What I find confusing is the difference between seeking the peace of solitude vs isolating. I know one is good and one is bad, right? But is my motivation to quiet my life and focus inward a desire to grow spiritually or an escape from the difficulties of relationships? I don’t have that answer but I am going to trust myself and let go of fear. In doing that, my quest for peace seems to be a virtuous one and so I will continue on.
Here are my images for the last couple of weeks in march. I have not been diligent in daily shooting, but I would say that more often than not, I get at least one shot, so I am counting that as a win.
