An Announcement
You may have noticed that my website has changed a bit and I wanted to say that I am now offering documentary family sessions. Documentary is my favorite way to capture family photographs and I think it’s a unique offering for the Upstate area. I only know of one other documentary photographer here who took my family pictures in 2017, and I loved them. Family portraits are great for Christmas cards and announcements, but documentary sessions are a beautiful way to capture the every life of your your family. So I am starting to offer those and stopping any other sessions, for now. In the future, I will also offer studio portrait sessions.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a piece on the enneagram and specifically, helping one find his/her type. Interestingly enough, I have since decided that I may actually be a different number. I related so much to the sin of the 7, gluttony, that I thought that was my number. I still relate to much of the 7 and it’s desire for a happier world I also tend to escape through fantasy, which may be less of a 7 thing, and more of a one to one instinctual variant thing. The details of my specific number aren’t as important, I did want to share the process as it may help you explore your own number. I know many people who have thought they were a specific number, but after learning more about themselves and the enneagram, they decided they were initially wrong.
Since I am a different number and I have traditionally written about creativity from the perspective of a 7, I wanted to write about how I see my creative journey from the 3’s point of view. I obviously believe that I am actually a 3 with a strong 4 wing. 3s are still aggressive stance so many of the characteristics between a 3 and a 7 are similar. Both tend to be disconnected from the body in a desire for self preservation. Both are future oriented, as all aggressive numbers are (3, 7, 8) so staying in the present moment can be a challenge. In those aspects, my path has been the same and the lessons I have learned are still the same. Much of my creativity will flourish when I learn to be in the present moment, letting go of the results. Both avoid emotions, a 7 because they are disconnected for their body as a member of the head space, while a 3 avoids emotions because it interferes with their goals. A 3’s ultimate goal is success and so, finding an authentic voice in the midst of that goal is difficult as a 3 will mimic whatever is around her in order to achieve success.
Here is an excerpt from Beatrice Chestbut’s book on the enneagram:
“The passion of Type Three is vanity. Vanity is a passion for “living in the eyes of others. The passion of vanity motivates Threes to present a false image to others to inspire their admiration and to live life “in anticipation or fantasy of the experience of another…
The Three’s vanity expresses a deep need to be seen positively – a need the personality seeks to satisfy through the cultivation of a particular image designed to sppeal to others by drawing on conventional values of attractiveness, quality, and stature. Living for and through appearances leads Threes to a constant preoccupation with how they look from the point of view of other people. They become good at playing a role or acting a part, marketing themselves through good packaging, and selling themselves as a kind of person people respect and admire.”
Yikes, that feels harsh 😂. From my own perspective, I have not purposefully tried to be anything other than myself, but it’s not purposeful outward deception as much as it is self deception. In the creative sense, that looks like the struggle with exploring what I want to create vs what I think will be perceived as good. That can get confusing when we are inundated with images on social media. The people that really stand out usually have a specific style that is unique to them, and that has always been a challenge for me. Instead of trying to create from a place of personal expression, I have been seeking a way to create that which makes me unique i.e., makes my work popular.
I struggled with instagram for a long time because I wasn’t getting the validation I wanted from it and it clouded my own artistic vision. I had to separate my work from what I posted so that I could truly explore what I actually liked vs what would get likes on IG.
At one point in my creative journey, I had to stop posting on social media and ask myself, would I actually take pictures if I couldn’t share them with others? That was a tough question to face because I was afraid the answer would be no, and then, what would I do? I allowed myself to face the hard truth and I did eventually decide that yes, I love photography for a lot of reasons, and so, I will still take pictures even if I didn’t share them.
Social media has been a really beautiful outlet for artists to share their art more freely. And looking at the work of others is a great way to learn about your specific craft. The challenge, from a 3’s perspective, is that when one struggles with finding his/her own true identity, it can be confusing to find the line between liking something and actually wanting to create something. This feels like a large part of what my creative process will be, forever. Allowing myself to play, learn a lot of different genres, and pay attention to what continues to draw me to it is the way I can explore my own identity.
I don’t think one has to study the enneagram to live a creative life. I like it as a tool to help me explore myself further. Understanding that I struggle with self deception in the name of being liked is helpful insight into understanding how I can grow creatively. It gives me some practical steps to move towards a more unique creative expression. I could have figured those things out and learned how to grow as an artist without the enneagram, but I think that each of our personalities is unique and the solution for which we seek is not always one size fits all. The enneagram is a tool to help us find what solution would work for our own personal needs. It helps us understand others and what they might need, and no matter your actual number, even just picking one and trusting it will help guide us in the end.
